can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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