The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
