So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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