You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
