my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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