I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
