She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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