Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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