ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
