im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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