i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
