My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You're like the curious george of whores
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
