i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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