vagina is talking i cant
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
