Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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