Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
