wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I pour the whiskey from now on
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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