How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
