I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
