but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
