Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
