very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I bet he comes in French.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
