Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
are you so shy because you have an std?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
