You work out of a Hotel?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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