my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
