Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The feeling are messing with the penis
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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