It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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