I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
