would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
