Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
