Pappa wants mamma naked
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
