You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
