Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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