nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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