I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
