we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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