new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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