the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
