I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
