I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
