Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
