dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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