do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just had sex bonerless
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
