Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
