office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You are the jesus of drinking
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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