you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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