did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
