I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
