I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
