my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
