I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I currently don't understand fingers.
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